All of us have heard of e'm. Life changing events. Events that redefine the purpose of life. Situations or circumstances that make ordinary lives extra-ordinary. It could be the death of a parent, a near-death experience, physical/emotional abuse or a 48% in two years of degree college.
48% in degree college? Life changing? Why?
Ever since i was a kid, i was never exceptionally bright. I never felt the need to be. Mediocrity worked for me and at home. My primary school placed me in the 15th-20th rank out of class of 40 students. I was contented. Nor was i mature enough to push my own self to achieve higher scores. In my 5th grade i scored my lowest percentage - 62% if i can remember correctly. That is when my parents felt the need for me to attend tuitions and improve my scores to a certain level of respectabilty.
Gillu Miss was the lady. A mentor. A life-trainer. Attending her class at her Bajaj Road, railway track facing home was a hell lot of fun. Probably because i was the brightest of the lot. "Andher nagri mein kaana raja kinda thing". I loved the adulation and respect that i got from her. She expected a lot out of me. I delivered 9/10 times. It was the sheer ego-boost to get the highest in her tests that made me study. Of course, not to undermine the fact, that her tuition class was a whole lot of fun. Academic pursuit was infact a byproduct of the entire experience with Gillu Miss. And yes i scored an 83.3 % in my 6th grade, securing a 7th rank in a class that was considerably industrious and intelligent. I continued with her till the 8th grade and did well for all the 3 years.
Now, this is no memoir of my days with Gillu Miss. I am trying to derive lessons from the past, from memories of success. Why? Because i need it. More than ever before. I want your experiences too. What made you successful in your days and what makes you now.
Moving on, my tenure with Gillu Miss ended. I moved into 9th grade. A different class. New subjects and new friends. This is the time when i got close to Vishal and Sharan. 9th went by smoothly. I din't do exceptionally well though. But i never cared anyway. It was always a case of wanting. Aspiring. Not putting effort remotely close to the want. Not Achieveing. Becoming contented with mediocrity.
Then came 10th grade. The year. The only success. 10th was a funny year. I was disciplined. Yet not. I studied. Yet not. Of course, the year was hyped as the most important in a student's life. First Board Exam, Tough, Competitive, Decisive... so many adjectives for one god damn exam. Exams never perturbed me. I would chill and go for my exams. No frantic - shit shit shit last revision, last answer, i haven't completed so much... nothing. Jitna hua utna hua types. My 10th grade, like all other fellow cooperites, was packed with tuitions. But more importantly - friends. The year was mad. Insane. We partied, studied, chatted and enjoyed the small pleasures in life. We enjoyed the year and more importantly lived the year without giving two hoots for the marks. Did we not want to do well? No - we surely did. Infact we had our goals too. Anuj-90% (desire), Sharan-90+% (desire), Vishal- Didn't quantify but wanted to do well. That was that. And in the process of the year we chilled, had fun, flirted (yeah i remember having a crush on Manasvi in the latter part of the year). The most important lesson though was - Fun
I secured and 86% - i was contented because i never deserved a 90%
College - N.M. Whoa...
I was ranked 40th on that list of 1100 students who had applied. I was happy.
Then started the downfall. Friends were scattered. I was too attached to them to make new close friends who i could study with the way i studied with them. College changed my outlook towards academics completely. We started competing to come out of class faster than the other during an exam. Percentages, grades - they were irrelevant. It was F.Y.J.C mann. Who the fuck cares!
12th grade came in. Supposedly important. At this point of time, i found a new love - Extracurrics. I am a weird guy. When i am into something, i give it so much passion, time and attachment that i lose rationality. And to think of it - i am an aspiring management student. The concept of balance, time management and logic fails me when i am doing things that i love.
Example - I've a meeting in the next 40 minutes and i am still writing this.I know i will not make it on time but it's so tough to let go. And that post - 12th standard was my ultimate nemesis. The Law of Detachment has eluded me. It is easy to study for an exam - like not do anything else and score well. I am sure to succeed if i did that. But that was not challenging. 10th, in hindsight, rocked because that was all that i had to study for. The challenge was to do things beyond that average college student profile and succeed at it too. I never did. Playing with multiple variables, i lost out somewhere or the other. If i had to list down my extra-currics post 11th grade, it sure is an envious profile. Umang, Rotaract, Shiamak Davar, Summer Camps, Advertising Diplomas, Tuition-Giving - the works... Yeah i was on my way to become the next super-achiever, the stud of N.M. College. Alas it never happened. I failed. Everytime i tried multi-tasking. I crashed. A lot of reasons - i got my strategies wrong, i never detached (the switch on - switch off) effect, i never understood the importance of the body and health to support super-achieving.
Health, Stress, Attachment, Procrastination - It all started weighing on me.
Year after year, i tried new styles, made random promises - they all failed.
And to go see - it all starts from the beginning. As a kid, discipline was never instilled or was given priority. Call it 'bad parenting', my inability to realise its importance for so long, indifference. But it eventually boils down to three things if and ever you want to super-achieve.
And yes no super-achiever will be able to tell you this. Ask a failed super-achiever. Ask me?
1) The Law of Discipline : The human body is the laziest thing i've ever seen. And my body is worse than a sloth sleeping. To train the body i.e to be energetic (from the time you wake up till u go to bed) is the ultimate challenge. Energy and Focus are the key. Focus will only come if you have the energy. Train the body. Eat right. Sleep Early. Wake up Early. This is not my advice to any of you who've read so far but to me. It is the lessons i've learnt over the past four years. And i've crashed so many times. Infact, i am wondering what took so long to understand these reasons.
2) The Law of Detachment : Detachment is the worst enemy. It plagues and entraps your mind to such a large extent that you're trapped in the past or anxious over the future. Detachment is by far the easiest and the simplest to achieve. Example - I post a message on the blog. Ideal condition to super-achieve woould be to detach. Forget about it totally and get to the next task at hand. But.. if i am anxious or thinking subconsciously about the comments expected. What will Peru write, what will Varun have to say to it.. I am in trouble. The idea is to come back to the blog with a transparent mind after a couple of days and read the comments. That way you can keep things really simple.
The irony is that super-achieving is very very simple. But it's the simplicity that is the toughest to achieve.
3) The Law of Love : Super-Achiever's are ideally supposed to be super-busy. No time to chill, to care, to speak nice words and love people. I mean after all, they're playing the guitar, running an NGO, studying, doing workshops, reading, writing - phew! ... How do you manage?
Example - A major chunk of my F.Y and S.Y.Bcom was spent with myself. Yes, i was this extrovert, seemingly charming extra-currics enthusiast but andar se i was lonely. Why? Because i expected attention. I wanted attention. I wanted love. I wanted love and attention because i thought i was cool. I thought i was really nice. But that was illusionary... I was consumed by an ego that refused to move beyond prejudices, wantings and personal interests. Super-Achieving can lead you to make some personal-interests driven decisions. Thin line this.
The truth is "Give as much as you can" cuz what you will get will be exponential and multi-fold. So for me - when i can flirt with a certain energy and charm, i know that things are right for me. My body releases endorphins that make me happy and yeah by giving attention to the other person i ensure her happiness to.
Tracing back to 10th grade - Love worked for me beyond anything else. I cared for people, friends, people i disliked, my parents. Love gives you energy and as irrational and emotion driven as it may seem - love gives you the ability to super-achieve.
All Super-Achievers that i've known are high energy, love-giving, failure-learning people
What made me write such a long post?
Emotion - The Low of your most cherished dream crashing. Of me crashing to the lowest trough. A moment in my life that will change me forever. I'm sure for the good. I dunno if i'll make it big in life. I dunno if i'll super-achieve ever. I dunno if i'll make it to the IIM's. I dunno anything.
All i know is that i've lived my life all over again on this blog so that you realise that every moment of your life makes a difference to your future. Every thankyou that you will say to your friend will make you happy more than him. Every good word that you will tell your parents will make them cherish their memories with you. If you've failed before, come meet me. We will raise a toast to Failure. Failure teaches so much more than success ever can. To all those successful people who've read until here - Try Failing. It will make you live every moment as if it were a lifetime. It will give you a perspective to life that you can only imagine.
And to all my Failed friends. Don't worry. We'll write success stories that mortal men can only dream of. We will live a life that will re-define history. I promise to do so. I assure to do so.
I'm living as if today were the last day of my life! Are you?
Heartfelt,
Failed,
But not for Life,
Anuj Gosalia
