The Sanctuary

At the epicentre of noise and distraction lies a Quiet. A place where thoughts find freedom, where words find meaning, where every second finds a purpose and every moment finds its place in the scheme of bigger things. Welcome to a consortium that will make you feel Alive. Welcome to a place that is 'Uniquely Yours'. Welcome to the Sanctuary...

Sunday, April 30, 2006

On Meaning...



Meaning is not something that you stumble across, like the answer to a riddle or the prize in a treasure hunt. Meaning is something you build into your own life. You build it out of your own past, out of your own affections and loyalties, out of the experience of humankind as it is passed onto you, out of your own talents and understanding, out of the things you believe in, out of the things and people you love, out of the values for which you are willing to sacrifice something. The ingredients are all there. You are the only one who can put them together in the pattern that will be your life. Let it be a life that has dignity and meaning for you. If it does, then the particular balance of success and failure is of less account.

- Ways of Winners' PROGRAMME MANUAL

Welcome to the Real World,
NEO

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Fix Me

All of us have heard of e'm. Life changing events. Events that redefine the purpose of life. Situations or circumstances that make ordinary lives extra-ordinary. It could be the death of a parent, a near-death experience, physical/emotional abuse or a 48% in two years of degree college.

48% in degree college? Life changing? Why?

Ever since i was a kid, i was never exceptionally bright. I never felt the need to be. Mediocrity worked for me and at home. My primary school placed me in the 15th-20th rank out of class of 40 students. I was contented. Nor was i mature enough to push my own self to achieve higher scores. In my 5th grade i scored my lowest percentage - 62% if i can remember correctly. That is when my parents felt the need for me to attend tuitions and improve my scores to a certain level of respectabilty.
Gillu Miss was the lady. A mentor. A life-trainer. Attending her class at her Bajaj Road, railway track facing home was a hell lot of fun. Probably because i was the brightest of the lot. "Andher nagri mein kaana raja kinda thing". I loved the adulation and respect that i got from her. She expected a lot out of me. I delivered 9/10 times. It was the sheer ego-boost to get the highest in her tests that made me study. Of course, not to undermine the fact, that her tuition class was a whole lot of fun. Academic pursuit was infact a byproduct of the entire experience with Gillu Miss. And yes i scored an 83.3 % in my 6th grade, securing a 7th rank in a class that was considerably industrious and intelligent. I continued with her till the 8th grade and did well for all the 3 years.

Now, this is no memoir of my days with Gillu Miss. I am trying to derive lessons from the past, from memories of success. Why? Because i need it. More than ever before. I want your experiences too. What made you successful in your days and what makes you now.

Moving on, my tenure with Gillu Miss ended. I moved into 9th grade. A different class. New subjects and new friends. This is the time when i got close to Vishal and Sharan. 9th went by smoothly. I din't do exceptionally well though. But i never cared anyway. It was always a case of wanting. Aspiring. Not putting effort remotely close to the want. Not Achieveing. Becoming contented with mediocrity.

Then came 10th grade. The year. The only success. 10th was a funny year. I was disciplined. Yet not. I studied. Yet not. Of course, the year was hyped as the most important in a student's life. First Board Exam, Tough, Competitive, Decisive... so many adjectives for one god damn exam. Exams never perturbed me. I would chill and go for my exams. No frantic - shit shit shit last revision, last answer, i haven't completed so much... nothing. Jitna hua utna hua types. My 10th grade, like all other fellow cooperites, was packed with tuitions. But more importantly - friends. The year was mad. Insane. We partied, studied, chatted and enjoyed the small pleasures in life. We enjoyed the year and more importantly lived the year without giving two hoots for the marks. Did we not want to do well? No - we surely did. Infact we had our goals too. Anuj-90% (desire), Sharan-90+% (desire), Vishal- Didn't quantify but wanted to do well. That was that. And in the process of the year we chilled, had fun, flirted (yeah i remember having a crush on Manasvi in the latter part of the year). The most important lesson though was - Fun

I secured and 86% - i was contented because i never deserved a 90%

College - N.M. Whoa...

I was ranked 40th on that list of 1100 students who had applied. I was happy.
Then started the downfall. Friends were scattered. I was too attached to them to make new close friends who i could study with the way i studied with them. College changed my outlook towards academics completely. We started competing to come out of class faster than the other during an exam. Percentages, grades - they were irrelevant. It was F.Y.J.C mann. Who the fuck cares!

12th grade came in. Supposedly important. At this point of time, i found a new love - Extracurrics. I am a weird guy. When i am into something, i give it so much passion, time and attachment that i lose rationality. And to think of it - i am an aspiring management student. The concept of balance, time management and logic fails me when i am doing things that i love.

Example - I've a meeting in the next 40 minutes and i am still writing this.I know i will not make it on time but it's so tough to let go. And that post - 12th standard was my ultimate nemesis. The Law of Detachment has eluded me. It is easy to study for an exam - like not do anything else and score well. I am sure to succeed if i did that. But that was not challenging. 10th, in hindsight, rocked because that was all that i had to study for. The challenge was to do things beyond that average college student profile and succeed at it too. I never did. Playing with multiple variables, i lost out somewhere or the other. If i had to list down my extra-currics post 11th grade, it sure is an envious profile. Umang, Rotaract, Shiamak Davar, Summer Camps, Advertising Diplomas, Tuition-Giving - the works... Yeah i was on my way to become the next super-achiever, the stud of N.M. College. Alas it never happened. I failed. Everytime i tried multi-tasking. I crashed. A lot of reasons - i got my strategies wrong, i never detached (the switch on - switch off) effect, i never understood the importance of the body and health to support super-achieving.
Health, Stress, Attachment, Procrastination - It all started weighing on me.
Year after year, i tried new styles, made random promises - they all failed.

And to go see - it all starts from the beginning. As a kid, discipline was never instilled or was given priority. Call it 'bad parenting', my inability to realise its importance for so long, indifference. But it eventually boils down to three things if and ever you want to super-achieve.

And yes no super-achiever will be able to tell you this. Ask a failed super-achiever. Ask me?

1) The Law of Discipline : The human body is the laziest thing i've ever seen. And my body is worse than a sloth sleeping. To train the body i.e to be energetic (from the time you wake up till u go to bed) is the ultimate challenge. Energy and Focus are the key. Focus will only come if you have the energy. Train the body. Eat right. Sleep Early. Wake up Early. This is not my advice to any of you who've read so far but to me. It is the lessons i've learnt over the past four years. And i've crashed so many times. Infact, i am wondering what took so long to understand these reasons.

2) The Law of Detachment : Detachment is the worst enemy. It plagues and entraps your mind to such a large extent that you're trapped in the past or anxious over the future. Detachment is by far the easiest and the simplest to achieve. Example - I post a message on the blog. Ideal condition to super-achieve woould be to detach. Forget about it totally and get to the next task at hand. But.. if i am anxious or thinking subconsciously about the comments expected. What will Peru write, what will Varun have to say to it.. I am in trouble. The idea is to come back to the blog with a transparent mind after a couple of days and read the comments. That way you can keep things really simple.

The irony is that super-achieving is very very simple. But it's the simplicity that is the toughest to achieve.

3) The Law of Love : Super-Achiever's are ideally supposed to be super-busy. No time to chill, to care, to speak nice words and love people. I mean after all, they're playing the guitar, running an NGO, studying, doing workshops, reading, writing - phew! ... How do you manage?

Example - A major chunk of my F.Y and S.Y.Bcom was spent with myself. Yes, i was this extrovert, seemingly charming extra-currics enthusiast but andar se i was lonely. Why? Because i expected attention. I wanted attention. I wanted love. I wanted love and attention because i thought i was cool. I thought i was really nice. But that was illusionary... I was consumed by an ego that refused to move beyond prejudices, wantings and personal interests. Super-Achieving can lead you to make some personal-interests driven decisions. Thin line this.

The truth is "Give as much as you can" cuz what you will get will be exponential and multi-fold. So for me - when i can flirt with a certain energy and charm, i know that things are right for me. My body releases endorphins that make me happy and yeah by giving attention to the other person i ensure her happiness to.

Tracing back to 10th grade - Love worked for me beyond anything else. I cared for people, friends, people i disliked, my parents. Love gives you energy and as irrational and emotion driven as it may seem - love gives you the ability to super-achieve.

All Super-Achievers that i've known are high energy, love-giving, failure-learning people

What made me write such a long post?

Emotion - The Low of your most cherished dream crashing. Of me crashing to the lowest trough. A moment in my life that will change me forever. I'm sure for the good. I dunno if i'll make it big in life. I dunno if i'll super-achieve ever. I dunno if i'll make it to the IIM's. I dunno anything.

All i know is that i've lived my life all over again on this blog so that you realise that every moment of your life makes a difference to your future. Every thankyou that you will say to your friend will make you happy more than him. Every good word that you will tell your parents will make them cherish their memories with you. If you've failed before, come meet me. We will raise a toast to Failure. Failure teaches so much more than success ever can. To all those successful people who've read until here - Try Failing. It will make you live every moment as if it were a lifetime. It will give you a perspective to life that you can only imagine.

And to all my Failed friends. Don't worry. We'll write success stories that mortal men can only dream of. We will live a life that will re-define history. I promise to do so. I assure to do so.

I'm living as if today were the last day of my life! Are you?

Heartfelt,
Failed,
But not for Life,
Anuj Gosalia

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

The Icicle Man

Blood trickled out of every orifice after night-long blows.
It oozed out, flowed free and stayed a stain.
Tied upside down, I failed to feel my corporal frame.
No blood in my toes! Oh, but a bloody nose!
Bastards! Kicked my kid and raped my rose.
They cried in pain and called out my name.
I heard those cries but I was more than lame.
God! If thou exist, I pray, fuck my foes!
Witnessed by my eyes, on my conscience it grows.
What purpose of a candle if they blow away its flame?
Hell! No purpose of life! They killed my dainty dame
And does my child reap a bullet for what he sows?
Damn me, if I move on! I abhor any hope.
I’ll strangle myself, God give me enough rope.
- Faran Khan

Welcome to the Real World

The Pledge

Novus Ordo Seclorum – New secular order
Capre diem – Seize the moment
Amor platonicus – Platonic love
Meliora Cogito – Strive for the Best
Ad Libitum Ad Libituras – As freely as desired
Per Adura Ad Astra – Through the struggle to the stars
Cogito, Facio Fio – Think it, do it, become it
Multi Famam, conscientam panic verentur – Many fear their reputation, few their conscience
Uvan Uvan Vivendo varia fit – Diverse grapes, through time, grow together
Amat Victoria Curam – Victory is for those who take the pains
Bis Vincit qui se Vincit in Victoria – He conquers who in the hour conquers himself






The beginning…


A call, an echo, a sound deep, from far away, yet so close….yes this is the call from within you; rise to that sound, awaken, meet it with all thy valor. Arise; meet the call of “The Sanctuary”. Amidst distraction and noise we find ourselves each day, trapped by rules and regulations (the reason of their existence-unknown to us); never have we been able to explore, not known the limitless boundaries which we can achieve. Here is your chance to explore these hidden depths, explore the unexplored…outside and within. This is only the beginning…the beginning of our Sanctuary.

The Sanctuary is an organization, not of want-to-be’s or wannabes but the need-to-be’s.. Yes, this is for the ones, who deep within want to make a difference in the world - starting from themselves, for those who know that little contributions have a larger role to play in life, for the students of (for) life. This is the sanctum… this is where every stone and stain is home… this is…. The Sanctuary….

The very purpose of our existence is for a higher purpose, and to find this larger purpose we have The Sanctuary. From adventure to indoors, from mountaineering to GD’s, from JAM’s to core competencies, from studies to sport, from literature to math, from Socrates to Freud, all from The Sanctuary to you….. Welcome aboard this wondrous vessel. Welcome and come steer it along with us.